DON'T TALK TO ME...I'M NAKED!!!

So do you look? Do you Chat? Do women look? Do men look? Where do you look?

I had the misfortune to be in a change room with a group of naked women last week. The reason I say misfortune is not because of the company, all these women are Fabulous women. The misfortune is that I HATE have conversations with naked women.

When I am changing I am in stealth mode. I remove and reapply clothing as fast as humanly possible, I keep my head down, stay low and don't make any sudden moves. I am in and out faster than my ex-husband...

So why is it that I always get caught up in a convo with "Naked Chatty Woman" ??? You know who she is...And if you are one, Shame on You...I don't know where to look...!

So I stare you dead in the eye with a serial killer glare and you still insist on making small talk.

The sillies are swinging, the muffin man is RIGHT THERE...I swear to god if you put your leg on that bench to apply moisturizer I am going to EYE PUNCH you...

I am a very social person when I am clothed and not being bumped by boobs and beavers...

So let's take it outside shall we...

Do men do this? Do they talk sports and babes with their "business" on parade?

Cheers

Man Boy...with a side of Douche...

So the other day I was in Toys R Us with my son, shopping for a birthday gift. So immediately he makes a b line for the video games...Expected, he's 12 after all.

So as we are in there and I am telling him "NO" to his first 8 choices, I notice that it is quite loud an animated in our little corner of the store. Low and behold on the stand up gaming pod or what ever the hell it is. Where you can try out the new games...Are 2 grown men having some sort of spastic fits playing a game.

Now when I say grown men I don't mean 21 year olds, you need a little back and knuckle hair to be considered grown. I'm talking early to mid 40's adult males. They were hooting and hollering about how "Awesome the graphics" were and how "realistic the kill shot is". WTF?

So I thought maybe it was their first time playing a video game since Frogger and they were amazed at how far they come. So ...me being me...Nosey Nellie...I listened a little more and a little closer. Turns out...these guys were Pros...gamers...video junkies...or in short..LOSERS!

They were there sans kids to buy the new "Code of Douche Bag 7" and were ranting back and forth on how much "Like way better" it is than Code of Douche bag 6. They went on and on about sight lines, scopes, targets and graphics. If I did not leave soon I am sure I would of impaled them with a Wii. I was this close to screaming.."GROW THE HELL UP! DORKS"...

What made it worse was that they were playing the game my 12 year old...respectable video game age...wanted, and that I "Big Bad Mom" told him no...We don't do war or gun games in my house. To me these things should not be perceived as fun.

So here's the deal...or deal breaker shall we say. My husband and I met later in life, we were both in our mid 30's. If at any point in our dating time I had found out my husband was a "gamer", this would of been a deal breaker for me. No matter how FABULOUS he was. To me this is a huge red flag of many deeper underlying issues...and it's DOUCHY...total turn off...Just slap a "Never Getting Laid" sign on their forehead now.

My dear friend bitches about this very issue on a constant basis. Her husband just spent an extra $1200 to get a laptop with a certain type of video card in it for his gaming. He wakes up in the middle of the night to play with some dude in Australia...NUTS...GET A LIFE..a REAL ONE!

Dear men who "Game"..you have no game...you have issues.

Cheers

She Said!